You get so lonely, you start to search.

American National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255

You get so lonely when things go wrong. You did everything you were supposed to do. Yet there is silence. Bitter, heavy, crushing, mind bending silence. No email, no instant messages, no private messages, no sms, no phone calls, no communication at all!

When you call, you get a machine. Or you are met with 'normalcy' i.e. you are asked to wait and be patient. Ah, but that is the problem. Patience involves waiting, in silence! The time weighs heavy on your mind and the patience tears at your insides.

You read the newspaper. You read the horrible things that happened to other people. You are thankful that what is happening to you is far less terrible, but you still have to wait. And the silence simply reflects back to you the painful workings of your own mind. You try to distract yourself but the pain of the loneliness is still on your brain and your body.


Yet, when you get so lonely, distraction is the key. Once you realize that continuing to do things despite the pain on your brain is crucial to your well being, you seek activities that distract you. You remember there are rituals to distract those who have lost a person in their lives. You would create rituals but there is still the hope that he or she will come back and normalcy will magically snap back into place.

When you give up that hope...

...then you take up the hope that a different, better normalcy will take its place. So, hope is still the savior after all that terrible pain when you get so lonely.

Meanwhile you see the terrible, gaping wound in your psyche. You know that there is no easy fix of going to a psychological physician and having it sewn up. Know that it is up to you to look at your psychological wound.

Acknowledge it, pull it closed and let it heal and form a scar. Scars on our psyches, we can deal with those! Once the psychological wound has healed, we can run our mental fingers on the scar and say to ourselves, "Survived that!"

Why is life like that?

It is either drudgery, boredom, negativity and a sliver of positivity or the pain of the loss of the sliver of positivity and a craving for the drudgery, boredom, negativity and our sliver of positivity. You try to find escape from the loneliness when you get so lonely, loneliness is full in your face. The only counter seems to be dreams, hope and some kind of action.

Dreams and hope leave you more lethargic, thereby making it harder to get into the third part of the solution, i.e. action. Let us see the actions that are the easiest to get into, and can be started despite the lethargy and paralysis brought on by loneliness.

The easiest is writing.

Find a notebook, a pencil and just write down whatever comes to mind. Let it flow for a couple of pages. Stop. Read over what has been written. That can be the entry to the world of action.

Other easy activities are:

Making phone calls. Simply hearing a human voice, right in your ear, is therapeutic. If the first phone call is not therapeutic, many calls together are therapeutic.

Next in line is communicating via the computer. After that comes deliberately finding articles that motivate a person to exercise.

Go from You get so lonely page to Loneliness Page.

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