American National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255
What are the societal solutions to loneliness caused by societal rules?
Break them! Break those rules that are not laws, city ordinances or regulations of any kind. The rest of the rules you can break as long as you don't cause any harm. The last part of the previous sentence is critical: As long as you don't cause ANY harm, including harm to yourself, you can break the societal rules of behavior. The best of life often goes to those who break those unspoken "rules of conduct" in our society.
Here is an example of a societal solution:
One day, as I boarded a plane on my way back home, I walked past a tall stranger dressed in a suit and wearing a bow tie. His face was an ‘open’ face and he was chatting with each passenger that walked into the plane. Now, how many seconds did it take for a person to walk past him – perhaps 10 seconds. He was using those ten seconds to talk to a person.
Since he was talking to every one, was he talking to the attractive women who walked past him? Of course! What punishment was he risking by breaking this unspoken rule of conduct of our society? No punishment! Was he leaving himself open to making new friends? Absolutely? Every time he spoke up, was he spending some energy and also holding his confidence together before he spoke up? I believe so. Were some people not responding to his friendliness at all. Yes. What were the chances that most of people that walked past him would see him again? Slim to none, but you never know. Did it matter? No. There is some discomfort when you go against the “normal behavioral rules of society”. Also, this method, in the beginning stages, requires you come up with psychic energy and courage.
So, breaking such unspoken rules of society is a way out of loneliness. After all, following these rules seems to be a guarantee that you are going to continue being lonely. Instead of waiting for society to change, you change – behave as if the rules are the way they ought to be for good social interaction and thus create societal solutions.
Here is another example of a societal solution:
Another way you can break such societal rules. Paint the colors of your favorite sports team on your face when you go to attend their games. Chose the kind of color make up that almost completely hides your face so that the people you know would have to look twice to recognize you.
Once you are ‘behind’ your sports persona, you will find that other sports fans will talk to you. You will also feel free to talk to people you have never met before. You will feel free to chat with people you find attractive.
You might enjoy playing the role of a rabid fan of your sports team. There is one fan of the Panthers team who received a free brand new truck simply because he took on the role of "un-official mascot" of the Panthers. You don't have to go "all the way" as he did to get what you want out of it - creating societal solutions to your loneliness.
There is one caution: Even though you are "behind" your make up and in your sports persona - be on your very best behavior. At a sports event you could easily get beat up by drunk fans of the opposing team or even fans of your team! Everything in life is risky but you can use your instincts and commonsense to keep yourself safe.
This is a societal solution that does not require a lot of up front physical effort. Also it is a great practical exercise that allows you to practice starting conversations with strangers. After you have done it several times you will find that you don't need to hide behind a persona before you can start up conversations with people.
Here is one more example of a societal solution:
Yet another way you can break such societal rules.
Join a clown school, get yourself a clown outfit and almost completely hide your face behind clown make-up. Once you are ‘behind’ your clown persona, you might find incredible relief in behaving as the happy, free and funny person you really are. It is interesting that one has to hide behind a personna to be one's self.
This is a societal solution that requires a lot of up front physical effort.
Solution: In the United States you can dial 211 for essential community services. The society that causes problems also provides societal solutions to help alleviate the problems.
Solution: In most large cities there is an International House, usually associated with a university or similar institution. Joining the International House provides a lot of opportunities to socialize and meet people from other countries.
Solution: Buy a single red rose, put in your front pocket or carry it in a cardboard tube and go to a singles dance. Present the rose to a person you would like to meet and ask for a dance. It increases your chances of getting a positive response.
Return from Societal Solutions page to Lonely Society page
Return from Societal Solutions page to Lonely-People-Champion Home page