Ryan insecure and lonely in marriage
by Ryan (Meriden CT USA)

American National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255

Hello, my name is Ryan and I am lonely. Very lonely. I am 28 years old and I have no friends. I used to have friends but due to a lot of bad decisions I have destroyed those
relationships and I don't know how to make new friends.

When I was growing up I had a core group of friends until about 2 years ago. Even while I had those friends I could not make any friends outside of the ones that I already had. It made me feel (and I still feel) like an outcast. I was grateful to have those friends and my family or so I thought.

Five years ago I met this girl who is now my wife. I let her turn my world upside down. I am so insecure about myself that I spent all my time with her. My family and friends do not like her and they tried to convince me to get rid of her.

She didn't like my family or friends and still really doesn't. She used to complain when we would go and see them and complain when I would try to get her to do something that I wanted to do.

So I basically let her control me and I have completely changed as a person. I barely have a relationship with my immediatefamily and my friends are gone because I stopped seeing them. I married my wife because I got her pregnant and thought it was
the right thing to do. I was wrong. It has been a year and a half since we got married and she and I barely converse.

I can only speak for myself when I say we don't have a good marriage because I regret letting her control me and changingmy whole life for the worse. I don't have feelings of love for her but only resentment. I miss my friends I used to have and I want to have a good relationship with my mom, dad and my brothers but I feel like it's too late. Now I have no clue how to make new friends. I can't hold a conversation for more than a minute. I'm 28 years old and feel like I have a life full of regrets. If I could go back in time and undo what I've done I would and I would never have continued to see my wife.

I love my daughter very much and she is 50 percent of the reason I am still with her. The other half is I am insecure and very afraid to be alone. Help me please.

Comments for
Ryan insecure and lonely in marriage

Decisions in a lonely life.
by: Lonely People Champion

Ryan, your post is heart-rending. Any one who writes like that can hold a conversation if he only lets the words flow from his vocal cords.

Your contribution prompted me to create another page for this website. Remember, this website does not provide professional advice of any kind. You can go to that page by clicking on Self Improvement in the column on the left of this page.

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