Lonely for years and sometimes its easier too. by Lucy (CA, USA)

American National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255

I lost my job in 2008 and I have been lonely for years and sometimes its easier too. In 2008, that's when everything about me changed. The economy was rough and my resources were limited at the time. It was a big everyday struggle.

I was new in my city and without friends. I was separated suddenly from those friends I had made at the office because there was no way to find each other and stay in touch. I led the next few years not being able to keep jobs or friends because the depression took over.

The jobs were horrible, considering the economy, so things didn't progress - time just passed while I stood still. I still feel this way. Sometimes it's masked by a nice day or a family member in town or by sitting in a coffee shop so I'm not physically alone but as soon as I get home - it's all just lonely.

I still have some friends who invite me out and are patient when I don't join them. I find that the only times I am able to join them are when it's very brief or very low key - like hanging out at someone's house or grabbing a coffee. But invite me to dinner or to go out and I don't go...they also don't understand what I'm feeling.

Everyone just says "go for a jog and you'll feel so much better." I feel like I'd rather be alone...which isn't true. I'd rather be out living life....I just don't feel up to it internally.

Before I saw this website I thought I was also alone in feeling this way...hoping to change the way I feel this year. Good luck to everyone else who is battling with the same.

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