American National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255
A family guy – does he ever complain?
Never, it appears. At least, he is not supposed to, according to a
script shared by many, many people. And therein lies the problem.
When a lot of people subscribe to such an unrealistic model, it
imprisons a lot of guys who have families. Do a percentage of the millions of
family men feel lonely? I believe they do.
So, what happens when...
...they feel lonely, unappreciated and don't complain? Does it all
come out in explosive episodes? Do they just quietly end the
marriage? What is the consequence of all this silent suffering? Can a
family guy do something about his loneliness?
It turns out that...
...yes, a family man can
do something about it. If you, as a family guy, don't value yourself
enough to make arrangements for a satisfactory life for you, is there
some one else that values you enough to arrange for a life that you
If not, it is up to you to speak up and up to you
to act. How do you do that? The answer is, “How do you take care of
your family?” If you do it well, you know something about taking
care of a human being's needs. Use the same techniques to take care
...to talk about your
feelings. Why do men not like to talk about their feelings? It is all
about the fear which says, “Don't expose your weakness because that is
where the enemy is going to strike.” What enemy? We are not warring
tribes any more.
Please come into the twenty first century! It is
time for coopetition. And you cannot coopete without letting people
becoming aware of your weakness.
And we are talking about expressing
feelings in intimate relationships. The chances of your having “an
enemy” in your intimate relationship is extremely remote unless you
have plans of being mean and unreal to your intimate partner. If you
have plans of being mean and unreal to your intimate partner, give up
those ridiculous plans and become a real family man! Start expressing
your feelings and send your loneliness away for good!
Does your family...
...feel more important to
you than yourself? Remember what happens if your airplane suddenly
loses altitude? Right, you put the oxygen mask on yourself first and
then be able to help your family. Were you thinking you could take
care of members of your family until they were steady and then crash
or bail? Doesn't sound very reasonable when you see it in print, does
So it is obvious that expressing your
feelings and keeping yourself happy and un-lonely is very important
for you and your family as well.
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