Coping with loneliness means you are coping with whatever loneliness is causing to happen to you. You are not dealing with loneliness, i.e. you are not working to make your loneliness go away. You are just busy coping with what loneliness has brought into your life.
Your loneliness may be any of several different kinds, like temporary loneliness over the holidays, loneliness in boredom, loneliness in a relationship, while you are new in college, loneliness after a break up or while living abroad, etc.
Any time your circumstances change - going off to college, accepting a
new job in a new city, or accepting a promotion and moving to a new city
- you can become lonely. You have to do something to create a social
life all over again.
Shown below is a unscientific set of questions about coping with loneliness. While it is not at all scientific, it will give you a fairly good idea about coping with loneliness. Find out how well you are at coping with loneliness by answering the following questions with a Yes or a No:
Questions 1 - 10:
1 Do you lounge on the couch, surf the internet, watch tv, read, eat a lot?
2 Do you go to the malls and go shopping?
3 Do you go to the movies a lot?
4 Do you start paying more attention to your pet?
5 Do you spend a lot of time gaming?
6 Do you read a lot of romantic novels?
7 Do you listen to sad songs about loneliness and cry to make yourself feel better?
8 Do you use alcohol or drugs to cope with your loneliness?
9 Do you avoid engaging in new activities.
10 Do you decline social invitations because you feel bad when you are lonely?
Questions 11 - 20:
11 Do you engage in wishful thinking about regaining your former relationship so you won't have to put up with loneliness?
12 Do you dream about getting into another relationship so you don't have to be lonely?
13 Do you wonder about the steps you can take to bring a satisfactory relationship into your life?
14 Do you feel sad and lonely when you see other people that are not lonely?
15 Do you believe your former mate should have done things to make you happy in the relationship even though you did not do much to make your mate happy?
16 Do you remind yourself not to think about the past.
17 Do you focus daily on the things you can be grateful for?
18 Have you examined whether you come across to other people as a friendly person or not?
19 Are you under the impression that you are an unlikeable person?
20 Do you have difficulty facing yourself?
Questions 21 - 30:
21 Do you think a lot about your loneliness?
22 Do you have an understanding of why you are lonely?
23 Do you spend time in denial about your loneliness?
24 Do you feel like a failure when you are lonely?
25 Do you think that if your wishes were to come true you wouldn't be lonely any more?
26 Are you deliberately lonely because people don't appreciate you?
27 Have you noticed if your thoughts are usually negative?
28 Do you avoid calling your friends who are married?
29 Do you believe anyone can get lonely?
30 Do you respond well when a person tries to start a conversation with you?
Questions 31 - 40:
31 Do you keep yourself so busy that there is no time for any meaningful talk between you and your mate?
32 Do you turn on a lot of lights at your place?
33 Do you engage in physical activities like cleaning, exercising, dancing by yourself, walking, etc.?
34 Do you look for activities in your newspaper?
35 Do you meditate?
36 Do you do yoga?
37 Do you pamper yourself, doing the things you enjoy doing?
38 Do you spend time engaging in your hobby?
39 Have you gone over your list of things you want to get better at?
40 Do you pray?
Questions 41 - 50:
41 Do you go to religious services every week?
42 Have you spoken with a priest or religious person you know?
43 Do you settle down and try to make a list of techniques you can use to cope with your loneliness?
44 Have you taken a measure of your self esteem?
45 Do you use your lonely time to figure out the purpose of your life?
46 Do you tune in to and listen to talk radio shows?
47 Do you call any of your funny or cheerful friends?
48 Do you do something to overcome the feeling of paralysis that comes with loneliness?
49 Do you spend time thinking about how to overcome the hurts that come with trying to be sociable?
50 Do you make plans to cope with your loneliness?
The best thing to do would be to print out this page and write in your answers. To see how you did, go back to the Loneliness Page and click on the word results.
Go from Coping With Loneliness page to Loneliness page
Return to Home page