Only the lonely understand their
affliction is transparent. Social connection is like the air
we breathe. Air is transparent, every one knows about air and hardly
anyone talks about it. For the lonely, the social connection is
extremely thin, it is barely there. It is very easy to go from a
'barely there' social connection to a healthy social connection – all
they have to do is “breathe” differently.
How to “breathe differently” is
Realize that the natural tendency of
human beings is to think negatively. That tendency is accentuated by
loneliness. Fight that tendency, think positively and make that
subtle change to overcome your loneliness.
A preference for comfort is also quite
common. That can lead to inaction and avoidance of social contact
which can lead to loneliness. So pick up a bias for action and move
toward social contact.
Lonely people can fear social contact
because of having been physically or psychologically injured by
others in the past. Realize that the future has a high potential for
being different from the past.
If you keep having hurtful social
experiences it may be time to do some introspective thinking.
Examine your social behavior and check
to see if you or your person is offending the people you meet.
find you are offending the sensibilities of others, start some self
improvement, either in your physical self or your attitude. Many
people bristle at the idea that their 'attitude' needs to be improved
but if their attitude is one that turns people off then it needs to
Only the lonely understand that their
condition can be the path to oblivion.
The sooner you get off the
path using your own energies the easier it will be. The way to
getting off the path by overcoming loneliness is to find something
outside yourself to get interested in. Volunteering to help others is
the easiest path out of loneliness.
However, that is not the only way to
overcome loneliness. “Something outside yourself” could be nature, a
hobby, a cause, an individual, a career, just about anything. Just be
sure you will be happy about your choice when you look back on it in
a few years.
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