A Lonely Mom Without Social Support. Is That Safe?

American National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255

A lonely mom is quite often lonely from the time she finds out she is pregnant until the baby goes to kinder garten. After that she is lonely when the kids have all left home and she suffers from the empty nest syndrome. Quite often empty nester mothers suffer through lonely Mother's Days.

The loneliness she feels at the beginning of the pregnancy...

...and lasts until the baby goes to kindergarten is the most stressful and can be dangerous for the lonely mom. It is interesting that when a woman has her first child, she quickly loses most of her female and male friends. It is because she has entered a different world - the world of parenthood.

If you are a single mother...

...of a toddler or even a child who is not yet a teenager, the loneliness is harder to overcome.

Your self esteem needs to be in great shape for you to take good care of your children and also find a reliable mate. Many men have a problem dating a woman with children. Finding a mate gets easier after the children are past their teens.

One way for lonely moms to overcome their loneliness is to focus completely on the needs of their children and with gusto. The strong love that all moms have for their children should make it easy to focus on the children's needs.

It may seem counter intuitive, but being fully engaged in your children's activities causes you to do things that make you visible in the social world. And that is all that is needed - if you are visble in the social world, your social world will fill out.

Look in the newspaper for...

...events that are free or low cost for children. Take your children to those events.

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Take full advantage of community mother-and-child programs or parent support programs.

Take your children to classes you can afford.

Get your children involved in sports, dance, music or other activities of interest to them.

Go to your church, temple or synagog. Most such organizations have arrangements to take care of children during service hours. That will provide you the company of adults while your children are cared for.

Engage in such activities on a consistent basis because it will take many months, more than twelve, before your social circle develops. As usual, overcoming loneliness of any kind, involves many social actions initiated by you.

After having spent the whole day...

...focused on your children's activities, you may find there is no time left over. As the kids grow older, you will find that you do have time for yourself.

When you find you have personal time, you will not feel guilty about arranging for the company of adults for yourself. Contact your former friends and see if you can resuscitate your former friendships. Go back to being good to yourself and rebuild your social life.

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