Let us first understand loneliness. How to deal with it is explained at the bottom of this page. Why is one person in emotional pain on being alone and another person in emotional ecstasy on being alone? What is it that makes them look at the same solitude so differently? What are the causes of lonesomeness?
The person who is in emotional pain...
...because of his solitude doesn't want the solitude. That person wants the opposite of solitude - companionship or a feeling of connectedness with humanity. The common complaint is 'You get so lonesome.' Such a person is quite often unaware of his or her connection to the divine.
The person who is in emotional ecstasy...
...in solitude has human companionship already. That person is not the owner of a lonesome heart. Such a person knows that not spending time alone can increase stress levels. Solitude, to that person, represents an opportunity to get into the silence and connect with the divine.
The solution for the person who is in emotional pain...
...at being alone, perhaps a lonesome heart, is to look the problem full in the face until it backs off and admits failure.
The person needs to embrace the loneliness, quiet his mind and listen.
Listen for a message from the divine. Once you get your first divine
message, you can start asking questions of the divine. As soon as you
start asking questions of the divine, answers will pop into your mind or
come at you from sources external to you.
Some people don't have to be alone to be lonesome!
They can be in the company of friends or in an intimate relationship and feel very desolate - because they find it impossible to "connect" with any one. They have this feeling of being alienated from every one. Such people describe a feeling of "emptiness". Since the problem begins inside them they need to turn inward into their own minds and figure out the root cause for their feelings of alienation.
Some people are so overwhelmed by lonesomeness that they simply cope with it and take no steps to overcome it. If you are like a lonesome beach on a solitary island, simply coping with lonesomeness, then you can answer a few questions here to find if your coping-with-loneliness-efforts efforts are likely to get you good results .
If you are suffering from loneliness because you have just been separated or divorced or are feeling depressed you would do well by joining a divorce support group, depression support group or bipolar support group.
If you have been coping with lonesomeness for a while and are tired of it, you may be ready to deal with lonesomeness.
When you have dealt with loneliness...
...you may be finally ready to try overcoming it. You cannot beat lonesomeness, you have to overcome it.
If you want to cope with, deal with and overcome it, all within a few weeks then you may be a person that can win by fighting lonesomeness.
It helps a lonesome man, or lonesome woman to have the help of a psychologist to identify the root cause of such feelings. Be sure to ask the psychologist to help you identify the root cause of the thoughts that cause you to feel alienated from people. Once that cause is identified, the therapist can help you deal with that cause and find your way out of alienation, depression, social anxiety or involuntary solitude.
Lonely housewives have to be specially diligent about overcoming their predicament. Some housewives have a fear of being lonesome and many need support for their social anxiety.
The feelings of alienation from others can start with a person's opinion of himself or herself. If the person has low self-esteem or believes, consciously or unconsciously, that the person is bad, unlovable, was wronged in childhood, the person may avoid social actions. Once avoidance of social contact is started, it easily becomes a habit. The trouble starts some years later when the person starts to feel the pain of isolation and alienation.
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